Best Three Lions goalgrabber since 1966, Harry Kane and his lucky manager Gareth Southgate (Image: Photo by CATHERINE IVILL/POOL/AFP via Getty Images)
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Harry Kane can get England off to a Euros flier this afternoon.
The former Leyton Orient loan star is fair at 13/10 (Skybet, Mansion) ‘anytime scorer’ against a slightly shonky Croatia defence. The best Three Lions goalgrabber in 50 years? If the cap fits, wear it.
On which subject, what items of historical menswear might Gareth ‘Spats’ Southgate deploy this time? If the sun’s shining, my money’s on a straw boater. Night games, maybe a jaunty codpiece.
Of only slightly less interest is Southgate’s Plan A for teasing half a dozen results on the trot out of this quite-good squad.
Set-pieces worked at the World Cup. So let’s hope Jack Grealish starts against Croatia (2pm, BBC). The most-fouled player in the Prem can deliver his wasp-in-the-car act here. The urge to roll a newspaper and batter him seems international.
That’s the free-kicks. And on their Nations League form, this Croatia backline gives you one free header per half in the six-yard box, minimum.
So now we just need someone to nod it in. Kane has that in his locker. And pens.
Our ‘anytime scorer’ worldies are John Stones at 18/1 and Tyrone Mings at 22/1 (both Paddy) . Split a stake and punt the pair.
Holland begin against Ukraine (8pm, ITV) , who can spoil anyone’s fun – though famously the Dutch are perfectly capable of pishing on their own chips, thank you.
The usual Oranje psycho-drama warnings apply. This time, it appears no one likes the manager.
Everyone likes Memphis Depay. The inch-high hitman’s big at 19/10 (Mansion) ‘anytime scorer’. He’s on pens, which is a big plus.
Austria v North Macedonia (5pm, ITV) looks bad for morale – ‘no goalscorer’ at the general 13/2 might help.
Scotland kick-off their Euros with a ‘mustn’t-lose’ against the Czech Republic (tomorrow, 2pm, BBC) , and the DRAW looks right at 2/1 (Fred).
Spain-Sweden (tomorrow, 8pm, BBC) finds both in weird shape.
No Zlatan Ibrahimovich of course, but plenty of Covid. More likely to be fatal yet still somehow less irritating.
The Swedish defence will struggle with Ferran Torres – take 5/2 (Paddy) ‘penalty scored in match’.
In the outright markets – and judging on his club data against elite sides – Luke Shaw is a fair shout at 11/2 (Unibet) to be England’s most-carded player at the tournament.