Vernon Kay and wife Tess Daly (Image: Dave Benett/Getty Images)
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that a celebrity about to take part in a reality show will be asked about their sexting indiscretions before it begins.
And so, last weekend, Vernon Kay was interviewed by this paper before the start of I’m A Celebrity… and the issue came up.
Vernon was caught messaging glamour model Rhian Sugden and four other women in 2010. He publicly apologised to wife Tess Daly, saying he’d made “some stupid decisions,” before being re-caught re-messaging Rhian again in 2016.
However Vernon now insists this is all “in the past, we’ve forgotten about that, we’ve moved on.”
Bless his hopeful little heart. If wishes were horses, I wouldn’t go putting any money on that one if I were him. Because although she might try, with varying degrees of success, to forgive, no woman forgets something like that happening in her marriage.
From the outside it does indeed appear that everything’s fine and dandy between Vernon and Tess, further evidenced by the happy family photo she just released, and her high-profile support for his jungle castle stint.
Vernon was caught messaging glamour model Rhian Sugden in 2010
(Image: Rhian Sugden Instagram)
There’s no suggestion a physical affair took place here, of course, and everyone has different boundaries and views on what’s acceptable from their partner. But whatever the level, something like this is still undeniably a betrayal. A sucker punch to the gut, the kind that winds you so much you can’t breathe for a while. Nothing will ever be the same again.
Apologies can be proffered – and meant – effort can be made, hard work attempted to try to move past it, but one thing is impossible. It can never be undone.
And so even though the bloody, raw wound will eventually heal into a scar, which you learn to live with, and maybe in certain lights isn’t that noticeable – you’ll never be able to forget that it’s there. You’ll feel it, because it’s part of you now, and always will be.
Deciding whether to stay in the marriage or not is presumably just choosing the path of least miserable existence.
Ending your relationship won’t be like in a film, where you stride out the door to an empowering Beyoncé song – in reality it means everything that’s important and precious being shattered or completely eviscerated by the bomb that’s gone off in your life.
You lose your kids half the time, your home, your friendship circle, social life, and in many cases your best friend, who you still probably love even if you hate them too.
Personally I don’t think I could get past my husband going behind my back, because I’m a grudge holder. You never really know until it happens to you, but I’ve been at war with a dry cleaner –who neither notices nor cares – for the best part of a decade, so the chances of me forgiving an affair aren’t promising. More power to anyone who attempts it though.
But those who have cheated – fully, or “just” in a grey area like Vernon – should stop kidding themselves now. It can never be forgotten.
Maybe he will be reminded of that when he gets home from I’m A Celebrity. Best case scenario? When he compares his pay packet and the phone bill to vote for him to do trials, he at least breaks even.